


Learn to be Lonely

by orphan_account



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, F/M, Heartbreak, Loss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-18
Updated: 2018-12-18
Packaged: 2019-09-22 06:23:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17054828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Many think Lucifer never knew love.  But that isn’t true.  He did know love…he knew it because of you.  He just realized it too late.  Inspired by "Learn to be lonely" from Phantom of the Opera.





	Learn to be Lonely

_Child of the wilderness, born into emptiness.  Learn to be lonely._

Lucifer always thought he was alone in the world.  That, even when he had brothers and a father, that no one really, truly cared for him.  He wasn’t sure why that was.  Maybe it was because he was labeled as father’s favorite?  Maybe that was why the other angels didn’t care for his company.  Maybe it was because he was the one to bear the Mark?  Maybe that was why his father always shied away from him near the end. 

_Learn to find your way your way in darkness._

He had always been alone.  When the Mark began to change him, make his heart turn from its pure nature to a side of darkness and hatred, he knew he was on his own.  He knew that once the others found out, that he would be cast out.  He would be locked away, for everyone’s protection.  It was as if it was his destiny, to be alone. 

_Who will be there for you? Comfort and care for you?  Learn to be lonely._

He always wondered what it would be like, to have someone.  Someone to hold at night, like other angels had.  Someone he could love, someone who could love him.  What would it be like to be held in someone’s arms when he was sad?  What would it be like to have someone who would be there for him no matter what? 

_Learn to be your one companion._

He had given up hope that he would have that.  And that was his ultimate down fall.  Without his hope, there was nothing else to hold back the darkness, the anguish, the hatred.  Without his hope, his dark side came out and he did the unthinkable.  He corrupted the first human, he turned his hate on his father’s creation.  He became the serpent, the devil, Satan.  All because he had no hope that someone would love him. 

_Never dreamed out in the world, there are arms to hold you._

But he was wrong.  He thought he had no one to love, to love him.  But he did.  He had you.  But now, as he held you in his arms, he realized that it was too late.  You weren’t any one special, you were just a regular angel.  No special destiny, or assignments, no one noticed you, except Lucifer.  When you stumbled into his life, literally, he was taken aback by your kindness.

_You've always known, your heart was on its own._

He held your body in his arms as he felt the life drain out of you.  He remembered all of the times he spent with you.  When he would need someone to complain to about Michael or Raphael or father, you were the one who listened.  When he needed someone to sit with, some company, you were quick to fly to his side.  “Please.”  He begged you, staring down as he wept.  “Don’t leave me here alone…I love you.” 

_So laugh in your loneliness, child of the wilderness. Learn to be lonely._

You had never looked so beautiful to him than you did in that moment, right before death.  You heard his words of love and your face lit up in a smile.  You whispered back to him, “I love you too, Lucifer.”  Your eyes slowly closed as your grace was extinguished.  Lucifer hadn’t ever wanted this.  Never in his life would he want this…

_Learn how to love life that is lived alone._

Your sacrifice was meaningless.  You were there, the meeting where God laid his plan to lock Lucifer away.  You were the one who came to his defense.  You stated your love, how kind Lucifer could be, how loving he could be.  You told them how if they would just talk to him, welcome him back into their hearts, he would be himself again.  But none believed you.  As Michael turned away to find his brother, to cast him out, you challenged him.  You challenged the strongest of the archangels to a duel.  You put your life on the line, so Lucifer would not be cast from heaven…and you lost. 

_Learn to be lonely, life can be lived, life can be loved alone._

Lucifer held you in his arms, weeping over his lost love.  A love, that he didn’t even get the chance to experience.  He laid a soft kiss upon your lips as his brother stood menacingly over him with his blade in hand.  Lucifer didn’t even fight it.  He let his grace be tied down, he let himself be cast out.  Because a heaven without you, was no heaven at all. 


End file.
